Grace

Most people are born into a religion and spend their entire life in that religion and never truly question it.  I however chose to change my religion.  I didn't go from one extreme to the other, but I do have people who question why I made the choice that I did.  I have two answers for my choice: I finally felt at home and my future children (at the time I made my decision, I did not have any).

As a child, I grew up in a Presbyterian church and attended church with my grandmother weekly, I went to Sunday school, Bible camp, was a member of the choir and also participated in the yearly Christmas pageant.  I loved church and learning about stories from the Bible.  When my parents got divorced, everything changed.  Even though divorce is a common word in our vocabulary, twenty years ago, my parents were some of the first among friends and families to make that decision.  I started to feel less welcome in the church and maybe because I was only 10, it was all in my head, but I really felt out of place.  I eventually stopped going to church.  Through my teenage years, I went to church a few times and read the Bible on my own and even went to a religious retreat in a desperate attempt to find a place where I felt welcome.  It wasn't until I was 18 that I walked into a church and felt like it was home.  My boyfriend at the time (now my husband) took me to church one Saturday night with his family.  We went to a Catholic mass and as I stood in that pew during the unfamiliar rituals, songs, hand shaking and prayers, I heard God's voice.  It was loud and clear like he was standing right next to me.  The words were so simple yet so strong, that I knew I had found what I was looking for after all those years.  While everyone was receiving communion, I heard the two words that I would never forget, "welcome home."

After hearing God's voice, I made every attempt to go to church with Adam.  I wanted to be there, I felt safe, I felt like I belonged, I finally felt like I had come home.  For the next few years I went with Adam as often as I could and then we got engaged.  I felt the closest to God during those months and I knew what I needed to do.  I did everything at church except receive communion and I knew that after we were married, that we would eventually have children and I didn't want them to wonder why mommy was the only one in the family who didn't participate in everything at church.  In the fall of 2003, I signed up for the RCIA classes that met once a week until Easter.  I learned about the Catholic religion and prepared mentally and emotionally for my confirmation into the Catholic church.  Every week, I felt closer to God and knew that this was the right decision for me.  The Saturday before Easter of 2004 was my first official day as a Catholic.  I made my confirmation and heard God's voice once more.  This time it was a little softer, but just as strong. 

Each Easter since then I feel comforted and safe in my choice of becoming a Catholic at the age of 23.  It took a while, but I found the place where I belong.  I was given the opportunity to choose a confirmation name and it was a difficult choice because I did not yet feel a connection to a particular saint, but there was a virtue that I felt connected to.  So it was on that Holy Saturday, six years ago that God called me by that name.  Standing at the alter in my moment of confirmation, I heard his voice.  It was those words that I think of each Easter  that remind me that my choice was right.  Regardless of others' opinions or feelings or questions, I know that it was the best choice for me.  Those simple words: "Welcome Home Grace."